I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
