on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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