Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
