Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
