I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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