her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
