hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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