He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
