im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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