So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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