Ambien. No doubt about it.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
