But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think I died a long time ago.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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