What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He did a backflip because drugs
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