this just has baby written all over it
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
why is half of my head shaved?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
