i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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