next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
as a side note pls kill me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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