We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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