An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We have started to decorate penises.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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