i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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