Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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