Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
