I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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