Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
