There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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