BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
