Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
