oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
