i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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