i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
