yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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