he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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