My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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