No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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