I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
