never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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