We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
