I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
