I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
