she smelled like a LAN party
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize