the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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