Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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