My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
