I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
