I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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