I just cut my nipple shaving
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
