Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All the doctor said was why
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
