I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
