Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
this hospital has no fireball
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize