i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
