I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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