I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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