They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Boobs speak an international language.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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