So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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