I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
