Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm always down for nudity.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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