youre lurking in front of me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
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What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
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3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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