maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
