Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
