He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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