it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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