I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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