dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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