It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
