i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize