Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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